the reason mulder is very suave and cool during the first episode and then never again is because he spent 3 years alone in a basement thinking of dope shit to say to impress girls. “nobody down here but the fbi’s most unwanted” “that’s why they put the i in fbi” “something cosmic” like COME ON!! bro’s been practicing those lines he made flash cards he rehearsed them in the mirror. problem is he got too excited and used them all within the first like 2 weeks so by the fifth episodes he’s like. Please Like Me Lol
+ Bonus
raleigh “heart eyes” becket
PACIFIC RIM (2013)
hang on I’m trying to see something
don’t tell me the name of your pet, just tell me in the tags the name you call them that’s got nothing to do with their actual name
Either you're frolicking in this field with me or you're frolicking in this field against me.
I'm starting to get smile lines.
How lovely to have smiled so often that happiness permanently etches itself into your face
How metal to have lived a life where your face now pre-warns people not to fuck with you
How resilient to have cared so strongly that empathy is now visibly displayed on your face
i love this so fucking much
I wanted to hear her say, “We are not amused.” Bet you five quid I can get her to say it. Taking that bet would be an abuse of my responsibilities as a traveller in time. Ten quid? Done.
My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.
"What does that mean," he asks.
"It's free if you're gay," he's told.
"Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?"
"Just put in a check mark here."
My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.
"Doctor, give it to me straight"
"You sure, there's a fee"
"… Give it to me gay"
AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)
Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar
Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar
ive got nothing new to say i should be shot
Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.